Hint: if you’re reading this article, someone has shared this on Facebook as a subtle way of telling you to stop doing at least one of these. Do us all a favor and cut it out. Then, share it with your friends and help make the world of Facebook a better place.
1. Announcing your FB account might have been hacked.
Just don’t. If it really got hacked, you wouldn’t be able to post anyway. And, if it got hacked in the past and you need to let the world know, call CNN.
2. Tagging every person you’ve ever met on a post about your child’s fundraiser.
If your child has a fundraiser, send me a FB message about it and I’ll send you $100 to never bug me again. But, seriously, message me and I’d be happy to help.
3. Clicking LIKE when someone shares sad news.
Imagine calling your friend to tell them your mom just died. And, imagine them saying “LIKE” and hanging up. It’s psychotic. If someone shares something sad that has happened to them on Facebook, instead of clicking LIKE, text or call them. If you don’t know them well enough to text or call, it will mean so much more if you take time to leave a comment empathizing with their situation.
4. Posting pictures from the temperature gauge on your car.
It’s hot. It’s cold. We know.
5. Hitting any button on Facebook that says “Click to Play”…ever.
Congratulations on becoming an asset for Russian hackers. If you’re ever tempted to click, do us all a favor and drop your phone in the toilet.
6. Posting quotes without context.
If I really want to read old quotes from C.S. Lewis, I’ll go to Google and search for “quotes from C.S. Lewis.” If there is a really profound reason you feel like sharing someone’s earth shattering vague quote with the world, tell us why or else we’ll just assume you lost your job.
7. Posting links to YouTube videos without context.
If I really want to watch a YouTube video, I’ll go to YouTube. If there is a profound reason you had to share Devo’s “Whip It” music video, please fill us all in so we can be part of the fun. When a problem comes along…you must whip it.
8. Posting links to news stories without context.
We all know how to find news stories on our own. But, thanks for thinking of us. Maybe try getting a job at The New York Times instead, you sleuth journalist, you. Or, give us at least a little shred of context why you’re sharing a news story about crop circles in Argentina.
9. Donating your birthday to charity, without actually making a donation yourself.
Saying “I’m donating my birthday to save the whales” means you clicked a button. Good job. If you really care, you should be the first one to donate. Or better yet, spend your birthday volunteering and snap a pic and tell us what you did. That will do more for your cause, because actually caring and doing something about it in the real world will blow everything else away in 2020.
10. Song by song updates from the concert you’re attending.
We’re all thrilled you’re at the Garth Brooks concert in the nose bleeds. Be present. Enjoy the show and your beers and put your phone away. I’ve got Facebook friends…in lowwwwww places….yeehaw! Seriously, have fun.
11. Leaving a comment on someone’s page for them to call you.
Thanks Jason. Here’s a novel idea: maybe you could call me?
12. Using a fake name or spelling your name backwards on Facebook.
We get it. You have an ex that you don’t want to find you. Block them and move on. Don’t make the rest of us suffer by wondering who you are. “Hmmm…I don’t remember friending Rekooh Naven.”
13. Telling people you’re leaving Facebook.
If you’re leaving just go. I don’t go to McDonald’s to make an announcement that I’m never coming back to McDonald’s. They know I’ll be back. 9/10 times the person who makes this declaration on Facebook is back in a few days or weeks…like clockwork. You’re addicted. It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna get through this.
BONUS: My Practical Wisdom for Using Facebook
I recently read the book Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World and another book about getting free from digital addiction.
They both explain the importance of identifying the specific purpose of each website, app, or social media tool you’re using. It’s when these lines get blurred, that digital addiction starts to take over.
These are the things that Facebook was intended for:
- Posting photos of YOU
- Sharing news about YOU
- Sharing things that YOU have created
- Sharing things that YOU have done
- Sharing things that YOU are doing to make the world a better place
- Seeing photos of YOUR friends
- Seeing news from YOUR friends
- Seeing things YOUR friends have created
- Seeing things YOUR friends have done
- Seeing things that YOUR friends are doing to make the world a better place
Notice what’s not on that list? Everything else.
Thanks for reading and sharing my wisdom. -Nevan Hooker, January 23, 2020